Irrationality
by jordangodzillasullivan
Summary: Maura Isles was not the type of person one would call irrational. Irrationality required illogical and groundless behavior. She had always been ruled by cool logic and took comfort in surrounding herself with facts and peer-reivewed research to drive her decision making. So why was it she had no explanation for her sudden irrational behavior? Eventual Rizzles


_So, this was going to be a oneshot, but then I decided it would flow better if it was broken up into parts. It will probably be around three chapters, but that's subject to change. This fic takes place really any time around season 4. As you can see it is rated M so it should be fairly obvious what this is leading up to. Sexy times ahoy!_

_I have no beta so all mistakes are mine (and I __apologize)._

_Disclaimer: Nothing is mine, please don't sue _

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Maura Isles was not the type of person one would call irrational. Irrationality required illogical and groundless behavior. She had always been ruled by cool logic and took comfort in surrounding herself with facts and peer-reivewed research to drive her decision making. There was always a scientific answer for everything. So why was it she had no explanation for her sudden irrational behavior?

It had never bothered Maura before when Jane rambled on about her latest conquests. In fact, she found it pleasing that Jane confided in her. It really made no sense why Maura found herself unreasonably irritated every time Jane mentioned Casey. It was getting to the point where she flat-out tried to ignore her friend when she went on her Casey tirades, which was incredibly rude. She had never been in this particular predicament before. Maura knew her reaction was illogical, yet she couldn't seem to help it.

Not to mention her other unexplainable and confusing emotions. The twinge in her gut every time Jane gushed about her most recent Skype date. The disappointment she felt when the detective announced Casey would be in town for a weekend… It just didn't add up. There was something Maura as missing, something she couldn't piece together. And that was not something she was accustomed to, nor did she know how to handle such a foreign feeling.

Maura glanced down at the body on the table before her. It was odd that death could bring her such comfort. Here, alone, with only this victim for company, she didn't have to dissect the unfamiliar territory of the emotional. She knew exactly what to do and what the outcome would be. No surprises, no unpleasant emotions. This was where she thrived. The minutes ticked by and her troublesome thoughts were ousted by her meticulous and technical observations of the body before her. It was a welcome relief.

Just as she was finally feeling at ease Jane Rizzoli came swaggering into her lab, bringing with her all the perplexing and alien feelings Maura had been trying so hard to suppress. "Please tell me you know the cause of death," her friend whined.

"I do not," Maura replied, glancing at the clock. "And it's only been thirty minutes since you last badgered me via text." She turned her attention back to the body, hoping Jane would take the hint that these things took time.

"C'mon Maur, just give me something to work with! Things are slow upstairs and Casey is out of touch for the week, yet again."

Maura internally winced. Given the number of times Jane mentioned Casey in a conversation, statistically speaking the shift in conversation shouldn't have surprised her. But it did and she found herself grimacing. What on Earth was wrong with her lately? Sudden silence indicated Jane had finished her rambling, and Maura decided to resort to drastic measures to segway back to a topic that didn't make her feel as though someone had thrust a scalpel into her abdomen. She was going to guess.

"I _have_ seen similar cases where the victim had redness around the mouth like this, which is indicative of poising, but I need to do further testing-"

"Yes! So our vic was poisoned!" Jane ignored Maura's annoyed glare. "I'll go let Frost know." She turned and began to exit the morgue and Maura breathed a sigh of relief. Until she figured out what the hell was going on inside her mind her friend's presence was potentially perilous. Her relief was short-lived. "Do you think I'm crazy?" Jane asked suddenly, turning back around.

"No. You're coherent, you have no visible ticks, and you don't exhibit any signs of-"

"I mean with Casey," Jane began walking back, rubbing her hands and not meeting Maura's gaze. "Sometimes I feel like some bimbo who's waiting around for a guy who's never gonna commit. I never thought I'd be one of those girls, you know?"

Maura had a logical response already geared up and ready to fly out of her mouth, but she hesitated. Something in her wanted to scream that it wasn't right. That Casey was a heartless jerk who didn't deserve to call Jane his. That it wouldn't work out and Jane would only end up heartbroken. Of course, Maura had no evidence or justification for such an outburst, so she found herself silent in response.

"Maura, did you hear me?" Jane looked uncomfortable now, obviously second-guessing sharing her uncertainties.

"Yes," Maura admitted. "I just… I don't know how to respond, Jane." She fished around her mind for something more to add but she was coming up dry. What in the world was wrong with her?!

"Because you think I am a bimbo?" Jane joked, but she clearly did not find it funny.

"No; _no_ of course not!" Maura decided to let logic speak since the rest of her was not to be trusted. "Love does odd things to people, and it can certainly make a person behave in uncharacteristic ways. In fact, a University of Oxford study found that the rational part of a person's brain shuts down when they're in love…" She trailed off, her stomach plummeting as that evasive final piece of the puzzle clicked in her brain. Jane was right. For a genius Maura could be completely stupid.

Jane, oblivious to the M.E.'s inner turmoil, laughed. "Thanks Dr. Isles, for once your fun facts were actually kinda comforting." She turned to leave once more. "I'll let you know what we find out," she called over her shoulder as she disappeared around the corner.

Maura stood still, staring at the space that Jane had occupied, completely at a loss for what to do. She knew she loved Jane, but being _in_ love was something entirely different. Though the evidence seemed to scream that it was the case. The more Maura mulled it over the more it made sense, and she realized her mind was finally accepting something her heart must have known all along. Casey was the first serious relationship Maura had witnessed Jane have. He was the first man she had ever believed her friend was truly in love with… Maura was startled to realize she was jealous, painfully so, an angry fire burning inside her at the mere though of Jane and Casey together.

She let out a breath and tried to focus on the body before her, but her concentration had been completely deflated. It took her about two times as long to complete the autopsy. After texting Jane to confirm that the victim did indeed die of poising she hastily wrote up her autopsy notes and then decided to leave early.

As she stepped out of the Boston Police Department the buzzing of her phone stilled her steps on the top stair. She had received a text message:

Jane Rizzoli: do you wanna grab drinks at the robber after work?

Maura bit her lip as she stared down at the text. She'd just had a life-altering revelation and it was quite a lot to stomach. For one, Jane was with Casey- in_ love_ with Casey. For another she was, as far as Maura knew, heterosexual. Jane had always been so sensitive to anyone making assumptions that she was gay due to her job and wardrobe choice. It didn't make Maura particularly hopeful that Jane would ever want to be in a romantic relationship with her. Math had always been one of Maura's strongest suits and right now it was telling her she didn't have a snowball's chance in hell; the facts just didn't add up in her favor.

She felt like her figurative heart had set up residence between her liver and pancreas. Her eyes began to water and she had to choke back a sudden sob. No, now was certainly not the time to go out for drinks. As she continued walking to her car she responded to Jane's text saying she wasn't feeling well and wouldn't be able to go out tonight. Which was not a lie. Maura felt miserable.


End file.
